Supreme Commander of EWSD Theb Dobbs announced staff cuts commencing next school year in an email sent out to all parents and faculty. Students were not informed, for they are not built to understand the grand design of such plans. The school board has signed off on the policy unanimously.
Despite EHS being chronically under-staffed, The Teacher Reduction Plan calls for the school to only retain one educator, instituting a 99.95% decrease from this school year. Many people in the EWSD community speculate that this may be related to budgetary concerns, yet Dobbs denied these fears.
“There are no issues with the budget at all,” Dobbs stated. “We really need to look at this from a diversity, equity, and inclusion standpoint. A lot of teachers feel as though they are not getting paid enough, and with things such as the gender and racial pay gap we decided that everyone could be at a much more equal position unemployed. The Teacher Reduction Plan stems from the desire to make EHS more welcoming and safe for everyone.”
Although Dobbs claims that the budget was not a factor in the new change, other admin officials do. The Hive was able to speak with an EWSD treasury official to get his thoughts on the matter, provided that we quote him anonymously and do everything in our power to keep his identity hidden.
“Our financial situation in one word is bad,” Ryan McHugh, Protector of the Treasury said. We went to Vegas in the summer, and let’s just say one minute we had 40 million dollars, and the next minute it was in the slot machine. We then tried to buy ten TV’s for our staff, but we accidentally bought 100,000 in a rounding error, and that was the last of our money. We just label everything as being for diversity, equity, and inclusion to look good, this change is absolutely because of our budget.”
With only six months left before the school year ends, teachers are scrambling to find work next year. Interestingly, in a poll asking about their opinions on being fired, every teacher responded saying they strongly agreed with the decision and wrote, “I love this school. I love admin. I love this district. It’s for our own good. It’s for our own good. It’s for our own good.”
Students will be put into one big classroom of 1,300 people, with bus driver Bob Bimpson teaching it. Mr. Bimpson has never taught a class and has no teaching credentials. We at The Hive wish him luck.
